Concepts from Basecamp (The Inner World): Understanding Why the Mid-Life Plateau Happens (Part I)

The Mid-Life Plateau:

I wish the answer were simple. But the truth is, the mid-life plateau, or that internal flatness and that dull sense that something is off, can be the result of many different factors. If you’re experiencing it, the more important question becomes: What’s causing yours? That requires looking deeper into your life and asking yourself a few tough questions.

• What actually matters to you?

• What drives you?

• Is there a disconnect between what you think or say and what you actually do?

That tension between your internal dialogue and your outward actions is often where the plateau begins to surface.

Reason #1: Purpose: Confusion or Lack Thereof

One of the most common culprits is confusion around purpose, or a complete lack of it. For many of us who lead with masculine energy, it’s easy to get caught in the cycle of performance and provision. And to be clear, there’s nothing inherently wrong with those drives. They’re hardwired into us. But the danger is stopping there and believing that performing well and providing are enough to create a life of fulfillment. They’re not. If those are your only guiding forces, life starts to feel mechanical. You begin to wonder what it’s all for.

When I look back, I see how my own story was shaped by this. My parents divorced when I was twelve. Afterward, my mom cleaned houses to put food on the table. Anything beyond the essentials meant a sacrifice elsewhere. Her focus was survival. My dad was an engineer. He had more financial stability, but everything had to be controlled, planned, thought through. If it wasn’t in the budget, it wasn’t happening. His focus was building security, possibly abundance, but through calculated restraint. The common thread? Scarcity. That was the money mindset I absorbed.  It was not necessarily what they said, but what I internalized as a child. Money was something to be cautious with. It was finite, heavy, and emotionally charged.

As a teenager, I pushed back against that. I didn’t want to live small. So I declared an early adult goal: I was going to make a lot of money. That was it. I didn’t ask why or what for.

In my 20s, I took the best job I could with the credentials I had. I didn’t love the work…but that wasn’t the point. Fueled by a stubborn desire for independence and financial abundance, I charged forward. That mission carried me into my 30s. I climbed the corporate ladder, boosted my salary, built a solid retirement portfolio, bought investment properties, and got to a place where I could pretty much buy what I wanted when I wanted.

But here’s the twist: the closer I got to that financial goal, the less fulfilling it felt. And it caught me off guard. I thought I had figured it out. I thought I was doing it better. But the truth was, I had confused a goal for a purpose. I had built a life around a number (i.e. an income target) as if that number would grant me meaning. But money is a tool. That’s all it is. It can buy more tools, or it can buy time, experiences, access. But by itself, whether you have a little or a lot, it’s empty. It’s not a reason to get up in the morning. And if you make it your purpose, this can become one way that you're setting yourself up for that mid-life reckoning.

For years, I followed the shoulds. I did what our left-brained society praises: good job, retirement savings, new car, remodeled kitchen. I took the vacations. I upgraded my phone. But underneath it all, I realized I wasn’t chasing joy. I was chasing control. I wanted safety through finances but what I needed more than safety was alignment. I needed connection. I needed meaningful work. And although I was skilled at what I did, and worked with some great people, I knew deep down I was meant for more. Accepting that meant two things:

1.      First, finding the gratitude and the growth in those chapters.

2.    Second, walking away from most of what I knew to step into something unknown.

When you treat money as your purpose, there’s no finish line. It’s a moving target. No amount will ever feel like enough. It’s not inherently bad but it’s not a mission. It’s a performance metric or a provision tool.  And that brings us back to the question:

What is purpose, really?

I love how David Viscott puts it in his book, Finding Your Strength in Difficult Times: A Book of Meditations:

The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The work of life is to develop it. The meaning of life is to give it away.

Especially for those of us who are wired to measure progress in dollars, objects, or milestones, this quote cuts to the heart. Purpose isn’t about acquisition, it’s about contribution. It’s about uncovering something inside of you and learning how to bring it to others.

Money was just a goal. That’s all. It was never the mission. And I share that so you don’t make the same mistake I did.

So where do you start if you’re feeling this plateau? You start by deepening your relationship with yourself.  You start by asking real questions about your identity, values, and gifts. From there, you develop those gifts. You test them. You refine them. And eventually, you begin to give them away, but not out of obligation. You give them away because it fills you up to share what’s been cultivated within. That’s the essence of real fulfillment. That’s what turns stagnation into growth.

It’s also why the Built to Elevate mission is rooted in this simple progression:

Knowledge creates power.
Power creates choice.
Choice becomes empowerment.
Empowerment is freedom.

That’s where the plateau ends and the real climb begins. 

Only one question remains: Are you ready to elevate and move into that all-powerful version of yourself?

Yours in Elevation,

FJ.