Genesis: About F. J.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was “ground zero” for what would eventually become Built to Elevate.

Growing up, my relationship with my father was strained. He was emotionally unavailable, doing the best he could—but it left a mark. Without realizing it, I developed an avoidant attachment style that would silently shape my behavior, relationships, and sense of self for decades.

As a teenager, I carried a lot of outward anger. I watched my mom struggle financially while my dad—despite making enough—was emotionally and financially controlling. I felt like we never had enough. I was intelligent but lacked direction. At 17, I found alcohol—and with that first drink, I stepped into the role of “the party guy.” That identity stuck.

I went to college with no real plan, partied hard, and failed out. I eventually got a two-year humanities degree—basically code for “I took a bunch of classes”—and leveraged family connections to land a job across the country, moving from the East Coast to the West Coast. Something told me staying home would lead nowhere good, and I listened.

By then, I had one clear goal: make a lot of money.

I built a professional duality. “Frank” was the responsible one—career-oriented, financially savvy, real estate investor. “FJ” was the weekend party guy, planning extravagant, alcohol-fueled getaways and living for the high of the next escape. I kept those lives separate, but the cracks were growing.

In my 30s, the results were mixed. I built a solid career, expanded my income, and developed a network. I earned a bachelor’s degree and shifted into higher-paying environmental work. I bought rental properties, learned home renovation, and saved aggressively. But inside? I felt flat. Not happy. Not sad. Just... flat.

Eventually, even the money couldn’t mask the emptiness. I’d built success by external standards, but internally, I was disconnected. My relationships kept repeating the same painful patterns. I had no clue where to turn—only that I couldn’t keep going the way I was.

Then came the crash. The moment where everything—career, relationships, self-worth—bottomed out.

Founder of Built to Elevate - Men’s Coach - Breathwork Facilitator

That was the turning point.

I quit drinking overnight. I distanced myself from almost everyone I knew. I stopped going out. I had no roadmap—just the awareness that something had to change.

I began doing the work. Not the surface-level, “read a self-help book” kind of work—but the deep kind. I went all-in on personal development: inner child work, emotional intelligence, nervous system regulation, masculine/feminine polarity, spiritual growth, boundaries, mindset, and purpose. Slowly, piece by piece, I rebuilt myself from the inside out.

The real shift came when I began training to become a life coach. I’ll never forget one client telling me:

“In three sessions, you helped me uncover things my psychologist hasn’t got me to in three years.”

That was the moment I realized: this is it. This work matters. This is what I’m here to do.

Shortly after, I mapped out the plan to leave my old career behind and coach full-time. Built to Elevate was born—not just as a brand, but as a mission.

I now help men just like I was—high-functioning, but unfulfilled. Smart, but stuck. Strong on the outside, disconnected on the inside.

I call them Second Half Players—men ready to stop running on autopilot and start living with clarity, purpose, and power.

  • Our Core Philosophy

    At Built to Elevate, our entire philosophy is grounded in a simple yet powerful progression:

    Knowledge creates power.
    Power creates choice.
    Choice becomes empowerment.
    Empowerment is a synonym for freedom.

    At the heart of this mantra is one critical word: empowerment—which we define as the perception of options. When you begin to truly perceive options, you reclaim your agency. You start to choose—not by default, but with intention. Whether it’s taking the hard road to grow or the quick win to build momentum, the key is that you choose.

    This philosophy directly informs our core values:

    1. Growth - Growth is the foundation. Without a growth mindset, transformation stalls before it starts. Growth isn’t just about improvement—it’s about remembering that you’re meant for more. Even when discouraged, there’s a part of you that refuses to settle. That internal voice—the one that nudges you forward—is what Built to Elevate exists to amplify.

    2. Knowledge - All change begins with awareness. And all awareness begins with knowledge. Whether that’s learning about yourself, understanding a pattern, or gaining insight into your emotional world, knowledge is the catalyst that turns autopilot into conscious decision-making.  Into intention.

    3. Choice - Choice is where real transformation begins. Once you’ve built awareness, you unlock the ability to choose: how to show up, what to prioritize, and what to release. It’s not about always choosing the “harder” path—it’s about choosing your path.

    4. Balance - Big goals require harmony, not hustle alone. True strength comes from knowing when to lead with assertiveness and when to lean into stillness. Whether it’s balancing masculine and feminine energies or managing your own emotions and leadership style, balance is how we show up fully—not forcefully.

    5. Freedom - This is the endgame. Freedom doesn’t mean doing whatever you want—it means aligning who you are on the inside with how you live on the outside. At its highest level, freedom becomes self-mastery: the ability to navigate your thoughts, emotions, and actions from a place of clarity, ownership, and love—not fear or control.

    Final Note: Built to Elevate exists to help men live with depth, power, and alignment. These values aren’t abstract—they’re practical, lived, and embodied in the coaching process. They are the compass that guides men back to themselves and forward into a life they truly own.

  • The Vision at Built to Elevate

    To bridge the gap between who men have been told to be and who they were truly built to become—grounded, purposeful, and fully alive. Built to Elevate exists to help men reconnect with themselves, redefine success on their own terms, and live lives of depth, leadership, and internal freedom.

  • The Mission at Built to Elevate

    At Built to Elevate, we guide men—especially in their 30s and 40s—through a deep, introspective process that reconnects them with who they truly are beneath the noise. Using a combination of coaching, somatic tools, and emotional intelligence practices, we help them break free from old patterns, reclaim their power, and take purposeful action. Our mission is to move men from feeling stuck, flat, or unfulfilled to living with clarity, depth, and grounded leadership—on their own terms.