Concepts from Basecamp (The Inner World): Understanding Why the Mid-Life Plateau Happens (Part II)
Last week, we talked about an important reason as to why the mid-life plateau happens: A lack thereof or confusion surrounding one’s purpose. Since childhood, we’ve been conditioned by our left-brained world that performance and provision come before all. While these are both very important facets of life, they don’t inherently create a life a fulfillment without care and intention.
Enough about purpose. What are the other reasons that push us into the mid-life plateau?
Reason #2: Confusion Surrounding Identity
To understand identity, we first need to properly define it:
The distinguishing character or personality of an individual.[1]
This definition is key because it points to two important components: character and personality.
Character is defined as:
One of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual.[2]
These are traits you possess, portray, or embody. They can be reflected in how you carry yourself and interact with others. Once formed, character tends to remain steady throughout life. It is, in essence, who you are. Examples include humility, intelligence, wisdom, discipline, kindness, open-mindedness, creativity, compassion, honesty, reliability, meticulousness, and responsibility.
Personality, on the other hand, is defined as:
The type of person you are, shown by the way you behave, feel, and think.[3]
Our emotions trigger feelings; those feelings drive actions and can most certainly shape our thoughts. This is what we say (verbally and nonverbally) and what we do. Over time, our consistent actions form behaviors, and those behaviors shape how others experience us. Personality is largely internal in origin but expressed outwardly. It is how you show up. Unlike character, personality can shift depending on context; for example, you might present yourself differently with your boss than you do with your partner.
When we bring these two elements together, identity is the combination of who we are (character) and how we show up (personality).
When character and personality are aligned, we present one cohesive identity.
When they are misaligned, we present conflicting or competing identities.
This misalignment often fuels the mid-life plateau. From an identity perspective, this is when the person we are internally is not the same person we show the world. We may abandon our true selves in favor of who we think others want us to be. Let’s look at two very different examples.
David
David is a 45-year-old operations manager who has been with the same company for 18 years.
Character: Integrity, reliability, contribution. He values honest work, being a dependable teammate, and leaving the world a little better than he found it.
Personality: Steady, approachable, optimistic without being naive. He’s relatable, easy to talk to, and skilled at simplifying complex problems.
Identity (Aligned): When a project falls behind, David refuses to cut corners (character) and communicates the issue clearly and calmly, rallying the team toward solutions (personality). Colleagues call him “the rock” because his values and demeanor are consistent.
Chris
Chris is a 47-year-old regional sales manager who has been in the role for 12 years.
Character: Honesty, loyalty, mentorship. He wants to lead with integrity and lift others up.
Personality: He is normally charismatic, energetic, and persuasive. Under stress, he becomes defensive, overly competitive, and dismissive.
Identity (Misaligned): When revenue goals are missed, his character wants to collaborate and take responsibility. Instead, his stress-driven personality blames underperformers, overpromises quick wins to leadership, and tightens control. This split leads to two reputations: some see him as a brilliant closer, others as unpredictable and self-protective.
David’s alignment means a mid-life plateau, if it comes, feels less like an identity crisis and more like a cue for the next growth phase.
Chris’ misalignment creates two competing versions of himself, making a mid-life plateau feel like both an identity crisis and a career standstill, because his two “selves” are battling for dominance. Maybe Chris even ties a lot of his self-worth into that job title. Should Chris’s competing identities lead to a scenario where he loses his job, then the fallout isn’t just financial, it’s existential. Without that title, the image he’s been projecting to the world collapses, leaving him face-to-face with the gap between who he truly is and who he’s been pretending to be. For a man in this position, the loss isn’t just of employment, it’s a dismantling of the identity scaffolding he’s been leaning on for years.
Key Takeaways:
Understanding your identity is essential to recognizing alignment and spotting gaps so you can self-correct.
Multiple competing identities create self-imposed hardships in work, relationships (emphasized in romantic relationships), and leadership.
Over time, competing identities erodes trust, both in yourself and from those around you. Without trust, your ability to lead from a strong, masculine foundation collapses, and the mid-life plateau sets in.
The mid-life plateau intensifies when competing identities lead to loss. This is especially true when that loss strikes at the core of self-worth.
It’s no wonder so many men struggle with identity during mid-life. This would especially apply to those of us conditioned to suffer in silence. If you’ve had enough, why not treat today like opposite day? Ask for help.
The Built to Elevate mission is rooted in this simple progression:
Knowledge creates power.
Power creates choice.
Choice becomes empowerment.
Empowerment is freedom.
That’s where the plateau ends and the real climb begins.
Only one question remains: Are you ready to elevate and move into that all-powerful version of yourself?
Yours in Elevation,
FJ.
[1] "Identity." Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, n.d., https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/identity. Accessed 15 Aug. 2025.
[2] "Character." Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, n.d., https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/character. Accessed 15 Aug. 2025.
[3] "Personality." Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, n.d., https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/character. Accessed 15 Aug. 2025.