Genesis: About F. J.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was “ground zero” for what would eventually become Built to Elevate.

Growing up, my relationship with my father was strained. He was emotionally unavailable, doing the best he could—but it left a mark. Without realizing it, I developed an avoidant attachment style that would silently shape my behavior, relationships, and sense of self for decades.

As a teenager, I carried a lot of outward anger. I watched my mom struggle financially while my dad—despite making enough—was emotionally and financially controlling. I felt like we never had enough. I was intelligent but lacked direction. At 17, I found alcohol—and with that first drink, I stepped into the role of “the party guy.” That identity stuck.

I went to college with no real plan, partied hard, and failed out. I eventually got a two-year humanities degree—basically code for “I took a bunch of classes”—and leveraged family connections to land a job across the country, moving from the East Coast to the West Coast. Something told me staying home would lead nowhere good, and I listened.

By then, I had one clear goal: make a lot of money.

I built a professional duality. “Frank” was the responsible one—career-oriented, financially savvy, real estate investor. “FJ” was the weekend party guy, planning extravagant, alcohol-fueled getaways and living for the high of the next escape. I kept those lives separate, but the cracks were growing.

In my 30s…

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